Foresaken Love

That long instilled ever lasting memory of you still seems to be engraved in my mind, hoping that possibly it might loosen and dissipate and depart from me at anytime. Playing it over and over, different scenario's in my mind wondering what could have been and possibly done, but yet we are here now, present day with no you. Time constantly playing its trickery; it goes by so fast and acts on its own accord, but in fact you aren't given the option of rewinding and re-living your past.

The love I have for you is never ending, and although you hurt me, and broke my heart into a million pieces, I allow myself to feel this way for you. Love is a holy word that is cherished and held sacred in my life. When I simply told you I loved you, it was truly meant and not just said like an over-used hello. Ironically our story is somewhat similar to the one's of Romeo and Juliet, a Montague and Capulet falling in love, simply two opposites from two sides of the world joining side by side, simply because love permitted them. However; our ending wasn't as cliche but simply un-original.

At times I felt like our fire was dying simply because you did'nt communicate your perspective on things, and therefore I acted as the engine of both sides, constantly feeding the fire, but mainly I was uncertain of your capabilities to shape what we had. We trusted one another, we talked about things that we usually didn't share amongst our crowds, but yet we built a sense of bond that no one could have compared to.

Where did we go wrong?
What does one say or do?
How do I fight for something that seems lost and unwanted?
But now that I look at it,we are no longer "We", but simply its is just I,
lets face it, until the day I die you will remain that mysterious love that was truly never figured out; but simply an everlasting memory...

By: Julian Manna

Life seems a blur, goals tends to be disorganized, and my drive seems to be unclear. University constantly in the back of my mind, being successful and healthy especially being that perfect person I have been set to be, trying so hard to please everyone but knowing I bring no justice to my plea, but simply an unwilling act of forced hope is thrown upon me. Maturing so fast has derived me of what I could have been, seeing my life now and 4 years ago could have marked, no wait..it could have changed me for a better me, someone who had no fears of failure, but now I feel that I am that person with no drive, knowing and understanding that I am nearing the end of my cycle simply without a backup stimulus plan .

Deciding to do something more practical is thrown my way, constantly being pushed to my limit knowing I'm about to bust and cease functioning, yet something inside me. That sub-conscious power invokes my past facades bringing them out of there slumber to reveal an unpromising future. My inner masks compromised, slowly re-inhibiting my body to go on for something that feels lost. Yet parts of me are distilled into fragments, each piece getting smaller and smaller until it is invincible to the human eye.

How long can I keep trekking an endless road with no water in me? I tend to look in the mirror, and simply practice breathing, the longer I seem to practice the more I notice that my lungs are no longer filling with air, am I suffocating in my own demise, of some hallowed realm. How long must this go on for?

Just awaken and instill me to breath...